The newest and latest episode of Ms. Vampy’s ‘Love Bites’ is about, well, how can we put this delicately? It is about getting to third base on the first date, or scoring a touchdown on the first encounter with someone new… or whatever sports related metaphor you can think of for, here it is, sex on the first date. And why is it that we always look towards sports when we are desperate for a euphemism?
Sport has always been big, it has been for centuries, but only recently euphemisms seem to borrow from these kinds of physical exercise in ever increasing number. It has not always been like that. Had we lived in the 1800s for example, we would have heard phrases like “amorous congress’ for example which, despite the obvious reference to a certain legislative branch of government, has no political implication, might although lead to consequences that might very well be considered political of sorts. A more sophisticated way of expressing the same thought was “convivial society” which, according to some sources, was an appropriate choice even in noble circles. Think of it like the difference between the word ‘bloody”, mostly used in Britain, and the F-word. “Bread and butter” is another one we might have been using, referring to the one being on top of the other rather than todays meaning of “very basic”. Or how about “green gown”, “blow the grounsils”, which all refer to the location where it happens – you figure it out.
Today, it seems to be all about sports in all aspects of life. Does that mean its all about physical activity these days? Or are we just falling for the well promoted franchises and the media circus created around them, taking over our lives? Either way it makes you wonder if these euphemisms will change in a couple of decades, and where they will originate from then…
After this little detour, and without further ado, here is what Ms. Vampy has to say about the subject of “Sex on the first date”.